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Re: Co-Sleeping: How many deaths is OK?

 How do you advise
> breastfeeding moms to handle those middle-of-the-night newborn feeding
> sessions?

Start right from the beginning, don't let the baby get in the habit
of sleeping in bed with you.  My son slept in his "big" crib, not a
bassinet, and in his OWN room from the very first night.

I had an L4-L5 disc herniation *and* rotator cuff bursitis
> postpartum, so nursing required me to get into position on a sofa,
> rocker, or bed, with many supportive pillows around me.

I too have L4-L5, and L5-S1 herniations, hurts like a bugger and my right leg likes to go numb when I sit down in a chair too long.  I sat in a rocking chair in his room many hours those first few months.

I almost
> ALWAYS fell asleep within two or three minutes of latch-on, which my
> OB and LC both felt was due to (a)  exhaustion and (b) hormones
> associated with letdown, and during the first few days when I tried
> nursing in a chair, I dropped my son twice - and was woken by his
> cries.  Then I tried the sofa - but he fell off the sofa once. So I
> moved to bed, where when he fell off my lap, he was on a firm mattress
> with no bedding on it, in between me and my husband. I figured that
> was safer than falling to the floor, but perhaps I was mistaken.

I found that I got better quality sleep (yes, only in small
increment) when I slept without worrying about him being in bed with
me all the time, than I did when I tried to sleep longer by putting
him in bed with me.  My husband was also very "supportive" of not co-
sleeping, meaning "honey, put him in bed, I can't sleep with him
making all that noise" :)  So I never got away with it much, although
I would try sometimes after the 5 am feeding just until I had to get
up about an hour later.

In
> discussion with other new moms who had fewer problems than I had (so
> perhaps could actually have nursed on the floor if they wanted to - I
> don't think I could have managed the pain), I found that they almost
> universally experienced similar problems with middle-of-the-night
> feedings and exhaustion and falling asleep and dropping the baby!

I learned quickly to get him on a night schedule of sorts, I started
to go to bed extremely early to make up for some lost sleep, and I
limited the night feeds to 30 min and then put him back in bed, and
off to bed I went.  I stayed semi-awake through the feeds out of
sheer fear of dropping him, but that was enough.

So
> where/how can we safely nurse without accidentally ending up in a
> cosleeeping situation?

For what it's worth, I feel my son to this day is a very independent
and successful sleeper because of these habits.  I nursed him for 8
months.  He stopped the night feeds at about 2-3 months.  He was
usually put down to sleep for naps and bedtime, AWAKE, because I did
not link nursing with sleeping in bed.  He likes his bed and usually
does not put up much of a fuss to go to sleep.  I think that if I
nursed him for naps or co-slept we would be having some sleep issues
about now like the majority of the parents I see who always ask at
the 9 month visit on how to get the kids to fall asleep and stay
asleep on their own.  Not to mention that I never wanted to worry
about accidental suffocating, I could have never lived with myself if
that had happed to him, just because I was 'too tired" to put him
back in his own bed.  Yes, I was exhausted, I was working full time
too, but I just never wanted to take the risk.


Dianna Tolen, M.D.

Kids First Pediatric Care
Canfield, Ohio