In a message dated 98-05-23 01:41:03 EDT, you write: << There's a name for children who are not given age appropriate discipline: spoiled brat. I'm a little sensitive to lack of discipline now. A four year old in my practice probably has ambylopia but will not cooperate for the ophthalmologist because, according to his mother, "he doesn't want to." This child has been a terror his whole life, I don't think the word "NO" has ever passed his mother's lips, and the child is the one who has suffered because of it. She finally admitted at the most recent visit that, well, maybe, he's a little spoiled. Well, it's never too late to start appropriate discipline, but by age four this child has already developed a pattern which would be really hard to reverse even by a parent who does have a backbone. Michael Sachs, M.D. General Pediatrician >> I would be VERY surprised to find out that what "ruined" this spoiled (4 yr old) child that has always been a terror is on-demand feedings and un- conditional love....children who lack discipline and get "spoiled" are usually somehow deprived of their fundamental needs, yet supplemented instead with a material want or act of leniency (toy rewards for potty -training, candy instead of dinner food, staying up 3 hours past bedtime, not having to pick up toys, being allowed to hit a friend without a time-out and an apology, etc...) I have yet to see a child who's fundamental needs were met, end up a spoiled brat. Is it a fundamental need to be breastfed in the middle of the night as a 6 month old? YOU BET! I don't think there is anything wrong with this even at the age of 18 months (and neither does the LLL, or the Center For Breastfeeding Information)...Nursing doesn't occur just because of hunger! Children nurse for closeness, comfort, because they had a bad dream, because they are teething, becuase they have a cold and need soothing, because they want to suck, because they love to be near by and loved....what could possibly be wrong with these things??? My children are two of the most well behaved kids I have ever seen; we get comments daily from strangers marveling at their good behavior, yet they sleep with my husband and I, and are both nursed whenever they request it (and no, we don't loose sleep because they are so close by). Who do my kids turn to when they need love and comfort? Who do they know will always have time for them, and always puts them first?? Their parents, if course. And I bet you anything, in 12 years...when they are miserable teenageers....that's who they still will be turning to when there are very difficult issues and decisions to face; drugs, sex, violence, etc....But, if kids learn at an early age that mom and dad aren't always there to meet their needs, than what? Well, IMHO...that's when they'll get a little pissy one day and go blow the heads off of a couple of schoolmates....you get out what you put in; and if you aren't willing to invest 100%...DON'T HAVE KIDS! Adriana Samargia Kaufman Precious Delivery Birth Services