Michael Sachs wrote: >I acknowledge that there are "high need" children, >inherently poor sleepers, etc., and these children do need extra attention >day and night. My observations about this phenomenon are that various scenarios exist. There seem to be a great many parents who do not espouse any particular ideology (Ferber being a behaviorist type and attachment parenting putting the child's needs first regardless of inconvenience to the parents). Usually after some prolonged discussion, it seems as though there are several reasons for the nighttime situation. (1) Sometimes the child had OM and then went on waking up at night. A lot of those babies "want to" sleep and respond to "Ferberizing". (2) Some babies have a type of growth spurt about 9 mos. or so and actually finish a bottle or two between midnite and morning. I can't believe those babies are crying because they want company. The toddlers who eat during the night need to be reprogrammed because either they're getting obese or are not eating during the day. (3) Some of them are first babies and the parents jump every time the baby cries. A lot of those parents are not quite as responsive to their second baby because they don't worry as much about minor fussing. These parents found they were not comfortable with the kind of constant involvement the attachment parenting model assumes. (I have read the Sears' books and they seem like such loving parents. But they are a doctor and nurse with 8 children and I doubt Mrs. Sears has to work and probably has a housekeeper and/or cook to help with all those kids while she's practicing attachment parenting. Not your typical situation.) (4) Guilt about being away at work all day, and separated from the child, seems to be a really common reason for relaxing limits especially at bedtime. This happens with toddlers and preschoolers too. In those cases, there's not much hope of resolving the sleep problem unless the parents change their priorities (decide everybody's need for more rest is more important than assuaging feelings of guilt) or find other ways to make up for the separation. I don't think what happens during the night really has much of a bearing on the child's mental health. IMHO. What goes on during the child's waking hours is more important. I think children who are overindulged and raised without limits are unbearable. Limits can be set in a loving way. It's totally silly to attribute extreme outcomes, like children who commit murder, to a lack of attachment parenting. Usually when you know the particulars of those cases, or know the child personally, as in some cases I have, it was obvious for years the child was disturbed but the parents were too disturbed themselves and would not listen to teachers or other professionals and get the child some help. Those are sad cases and frequently physical or sexual abuse is a factor. SWalker, RN, FNP