I was trying to stay out of this discussion but I just can't do it.
Here are some of my observations. They are just that, mine, with no science
to back up my observations. Possibly they can offer a different perspective.
With my first child, I did not co-sleep with my son and I can't tell you
how many times I almost dropped him from sheer exhaustion when he would wake
up in the night to be fed. "Everyone" said don't co-sleep so I didn't.
Before my second was born, I was introduced to La Leche League. Moms at the
Group I attended talked about keeping the baby the baby close in the middle
of the night, not necessarily in the bed, but close by so that I didn't have
to get out of bed in the middle of the night. They also talked about nursing
lying down, especially in the middle of the night. Wow, what a revelation!
No more dropped baby and a mom able to fall back to sleep fairly quickly with
the baby sleeping right next to our bed.
Then baby #3 arrived. He would start the night in the bassinet next to
our bed but, contrary to all those who talk about getting more sleep with the
baby in its own bed, I would spend hours trying to get him to sleep and back
in his own bed. Completely exhausted and greatly sleep-deprived, one night I
fell asleep while nursing him in bed.....and I got to sleep. In desperation,
I clutched to what got me more sleep - co-sleeping.
This child and my subsequent two babies always started the night in the
bassinet by the bed, but would end the night in our bed. Why? Because that
was how I got the most sleep, sleep I needed to function as the mother of
five active sons. I was ALWAYS aware that there was a baby in the bed with
me. So was my husband.
Since my babies nursed in the crook of my arm, it would have been
impossible for me or my husband to roll over on them without me noticing.
Try to turn over on your own arm. If you can do it unaware, you're much more
flexible than I am. I'm not saying that all mothers nurse their babies this
way but many do.
This long-winded story is not to use me as the perfect example of "safe"
co-sleeping but to be an example of why so many parents co-sleep -
exhaustion. That seems to be in direct opposition to what I keep reading in
the postings here, that co-sleeping leads to less rather than more sleep for
the parents.
Whether co-sleeping can or should be done safely or not is for another
message.
-Harriet
Harriet F. Smiley, IBCLC